Dont dream its over

When I was 11 , reading series like “The Sweet Valley” or “The babysitters club” were a top priority. Can you guess what my favourite characters were like ? Well at least try to think……. Ok enough guessing my favourite characters use to be the bookworms of the book and they use to write for their respective school’s magazine. I use to envy those made-up characters. I wanted to write somewhere. I wanted to voice my opinion somewhere even if it was in something small. I wasn’t out-going enough to actually try to create a difference in my school like my favourite characters. I am shy now, I was painfully shy then. It was left to be a very incomplete dream. At 15 when I use to watch English movies and see colleges having their own magazine I then started dreaming about writing for my college.
It’s still an incomplete dream. When I came to the university, my university had just finished its 3rd year. It still has a long way to go with it activities. Starting a magazine is one of them. You know on the second week itself I had gone to the dean asking if I would start a magazine. She was very encouraging but then I got so wrapped up in trying to adjust to a new life starting a magazine seem far away goal. This semester when I broached up the subject again with the dean she told me to my surprise that the MBA students wanted to start it too. I felt so excited.

So here I am with regular meeting on Thursday…. Its not at all going the way I planned (or dreamed). There seem to be a clash of opinions and thoughts. At rate we are going it will never come out. Or they will back out and then I will be left to do it alone. (I don’t mind doing it alone)
It’s funny though. Today all of us were like a bunch of kids waiting to get to play with that toy that everybody wants to play with but there s only one. What do I mean ? We were trying to decide a name for the magazine. The name can be just one but there are around 10 unique people to suggest 10 very unique names. I was watching the show. It was highly amusing. I don’t think that anyone of them ever dream about being a part of magazine. I will ask them. For now I wish they would cooperate and not make it a big issue. A name for something is very important but the thing is no matter how much we might think about finding the perfect name we will find some or other fault in it (perfect name). If not us, then it will be the crowd of our university. If they can’t appreciate hard work they are not worthy of comments. The meeting ended with the decision that we will select 5 names and keep it in a poll. (majority always win) I hope it works out though.
Has anybody heard sixpence none the richer (dont' dream its over)? Really like their song.

There is freedom within,
there is freedom without
Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
There's a battle ahead, many battles are lost
But you'll never see the end of the road
While you're traveling with me
Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win


I am planning to record this song and keep playing it through out the next meeting ;)

Anyway me signing off. Take care

Class No 17

My class (shockingly) liked the poem. I have a doubt they were playing around. They were unusually good sports about it. :) Some time I feel that they have a made a pact to give surprises to me with their very unpredictable behaviour and reactions. They didn't find it offending (although eye brows were raised :D ). I am posting the poem here. Before anybody jumps and read it let me tell you what I feel about it. Well its a very simple poem and mostly kind of like a inner joke thing. You might not undertsnad it as you have to be in my class to really see it. It will though give you a glimpse of my life in class. Another thing is that my grammer is ALL wrong in the poem. But I refuse to change it because I am comfortable with the words. And like it the way it is.


Class No 17


In the beginning there was only one girl,
Among 12 guys,
How unbalanced can it get?
Then came Faiza to Meera’s rescue,
And things got balanced and fair…

Let me introduce you to my class,
“The foundation class”
Faiza so quiet and soft
Does she ever say anything ?

Then comes Zeeshan,
So suspicious of the world,
Always accusing everybody of the unforgivable,
How in the world does he trust the class ?

Zain-Ul-Abideen – such a serious name
For a non-serious person,
Is always cracking jokes,
When is not being the rock star of szabist,
Or giving guitar lessons to the guys.

Then comes another zain,
Only talking when spoken too,
That also with well-chosen words,
Unless he is ordering you to keep quiet.

Who can forget Farhan ?
Teased on being a “bengli”
When originally from Karachi.

Or what about Bilal ?
Always with a grin on his face.
Especially in math’s class
For he is the rare one to understand everything.
At the first shot.

Then there’s Saad,
Who wants everything to explained twice,
Always shushed and hushed by the class
Or hit on the head by his brother.

His brother Rameez,
A total opposite of Saad.
It never fails to surprise the class,
How these two are related ?
Shouldn’t they be called “Ying and Yang”
Instead of “Saad and Rameez”

Mustafa is always quiet,
On rare occasion have I seen him talking,
Or fooling around,
Except when he decides to play football in class

Naveed on the other hand,
Is always enjoying the show,
Laughing at every little thing,
Never missing the action.

Asher is the moody one of class,
Some time talking, sometime silent,
Often bored, seldom interested,
What next can you expect from him ?

Nobody can forget Fawad,
he's always got something up his sleeve,
Never quiet,
Always straightforward with his thoughts.

Who is missing ?
Yes Asad !He is probably in Karachi,
Maybe in Sharjah ,
What about Fujeriah,
Never in class.

Last but the least,
Its just me,
Always told not to cry,
When I am laughing every minute of it…

So now the door to class no 17 close,
I know you will remember this visit,
For we are a bunch not easy to forget.

Hope is for the hopeless

Have you noticed how people are so bitter and down-hearted on countless things in life ? They have lost faith in lot of things. Some don’t believe in friendship while others don’t believe in honesty. People are afraid to trust other in first meeting. In fact on both side the particular person calculates everything carefully. Nobody trusts anyone these days unless you know them for a very long time. In some way the faith in goodness is lost that any good action that’s done these days are speculated at. Nobody wants to believe that something good can be done from goodness of the heart and not just for some other motives.
My 10 year old sis told me that, “Hope is for the hopeless”. Needless to say my jaws nearly dropped at her comment. Are things turning so badly that a kid is telling me that she doesn’t believe in hope ??? She explained it to me that it made sense to her and she had happened to hear it in a cartoon. When I thought about I did see the logical part of it but I also felt that if I stop hoping for things and stuff then there will be this huge black emptiness. My question is what’s up happening with the world ?

Hello everybody……..how is everybody doing today. Am MUCH better today although still sleepy. This week has been the busiest this year. I mean I had classes from Saturday to Wednesday plus go on Thursday for the meeting.
How was my day yesterday ? Well yesterday I had to drag myself away from the bed. With my mom supporting me I somehow manage to get ready in time for the van. Since the meeting was at 3 I had the whole morning to do what I liked. My senior friend was there so I joined her as I hadn’t seen her for 3 days plus she was free. We went for a long walk in Knowledge village. The walk was lovely. Birds were chirping and there was a huge flock of sparrows eating their breakfast. Both of us chattered away. ( I love to talk. Especially with the right company its amazing)
We came back from the walk and then sat down to study in the library. My friend was suppose to be studying so I kept a hawk-like watch on her making sure she is studying. In the meantime I started browsing books in the library. I found some lovely quotes. (How do people come with such honest things to say ?) Anyway at 1 she had to go for a class. I then went to the computer and did some typing work. At 2:55 I logged off from the computer and went in the reception. The MBA students were late ! I started talking with receptionist and telling her my entire life story. Anyway they finally showed up at 3:20. I stare at them with my eyes brow raised which didn’t do anything.

Do you know where the meeting was held ? In the board meeting room !!! Even though once I was in the room for the meeting of class representative but the dean and the supervisor was present there. But being there with just students is a whole different thing. So I sat right at the end of the table which was an excellent decision as I would see everybody faces. I love the huge soft twirling chair and huge table. ( i want to have a bigger meeting room when am older with my own company) Since it was the second meeting the coordinators had to elaborate on everybody’s jobs. My work was ok. They liked my interviews and said that I would ask even more questions as they wanted to encourage more people. To me that was like them offering me my favorite dish and saying I would eat as much as I want !!! I did feel a bit fish out of the water there. I guess they are older then me and it was uncomfortable. Plus two of the girls started complaining about my friends who didn’t show up for the meeting and that really annoyed me. They accused them of not doing any work when they themselves hadn’t done anything. All I would do was stared at them angrily but they didn’t get any clue. In the end I left the room fuming when the meeting ended.

I didn’t say anything to them because I knew it would lead an unnecessary argument. But I really hate it when people unfairly pick on other people. Especially when they are at fault as well. I mean its not as if they did any preparation of their own…… I do admit they did show up for the meeting but nothing important was done and whatever was discussed in the meeting would be easily passed on to the people who were missing. And my friends weren’t the only one missing , a whole bunch of group responsible for the editing weren’t there. Anyway that’s all for today.

I am leaving with another sort of quote. What I love about this one is that its simple and true. We expects so much from people and that’s where we go wrong. My friend Michelle gave me another advice that was “no expectations no disappointment”. And she is right. If we follow this life would be a less complicated and less disappointing.
"I do my thing, & you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if buy chance we find each other - it is beautiful. If not it can't be helped."
Fritz Perls -A Gestalt Prayer.

Check this link for more info- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gestalt_prayer

Take care.

PS This interview of Dalai Lama is amazing. Check it out if u want too. Quotes from interview : “
"To be happier, you must spend less time plotting your life and be more accepting."

http://www.gulfnews.com/weekend/people/10034440.html

I am so exhausted..........every bone in my body is hurting...... i am too young to be feeling so old.....the meeting was enlightening....if you are wondering whats up with pauses well thats just me giving my fingers some rest. Anyway will jsut leave you guys with some quotes.

"what you think of me is none of my business" Terry Cole Whittaker

"Angel fly because they take themselves lightly" Alan Watts

"The important thing is not what they think of me but what i think of them" Queen Victoria

"nothing is good or bad but thinking make it so" shkaespeare

so adieus amigos. will be back tomorrow. with more details.

talent and the talented..........

Today in Math’s class I entered the class for once a bit late. I got so engrossed in my work at computer lab that I forget it was getting late. One of my classmate actually had to give me a miss call when it’s usually the other way around…..
The class was nice as usual. It seems today everybody decided to show one at a time. As a result the class started a bit late. The work we did today was semi-difficult.

When the teacher came to the second question she asked us a question related to the sum she had explained. The question was about “selection” where she was subtracting one with the total she got. She asked us why she was subtracting it by 1. Everybody look at her with the look that clearly must have said “You are the teacher you tell us”. The looks vanished completely when she added she would give 2% free to anybody who answers it right. Every single person in class was on high alert then. Including myself. I answered first to whatever popped in my head. But obviously since I didn’t think carefully it was wrong. Another guy tried to attempt the question. When he was answering I stared disappointedly at the white board. That time suddenly only my mind was present for me. I was thinking “ You would use with the 2% as you desperately want an A+ so each marks count even if it’s just 2%.” I focused on the board and suddenly my mind was clear even though my body was tense. I don’t know why but I got the feeling that the answer was right under my nose. And it was !!! All this took place in one second, I turned to my right to see that my teacher had said the answer of the guy who attempted second was close. I raised my voice and look at the teacher in the eye and blurted the answer out. That nano second everything went in a very slow motion. All I cared about then was getting the answer right and it was. The teacher goes like “ YES ! you are right”. I am so happy ! I ask the teacher for a high five. And we high five. (Truly a Kodak moment J ) The rest of the class didn’t get it and they are staring at us blankly. My teacher first note down the extra marks in her record book. She announces to the class “ Meera got 7% floating around for her to use. If she continues with her good grades maybe at the end of the semester she can give these marks out as charity”. I grin…….

To tell you the truth even though things are going excellently I am still worried . (How nerdish can one get) I want to do well in this semester and I have this habit of messing up last minute. This is what I am afraid of. People always take it for granted that till end I will do well but in the end the pressure builds up inside me ruining everything for me. Well ! This time I won’t let it get into me no matter what……………

I wrote a poem today. It’s a simple poem about my class. In a way it’s a bit funny because it’s what happens in my class on a regular basis. So in my poem people who are the loud-mouth I honestly called them the “loud mouth” in my poem. It’s not as an offense. In fact none of it is suppose to hurt somebody or intentionally corner somebody. But reading it out loud I am afraid that it might. You see I just wrote what I find funny in my class. And to me things like being a loud-mouth or suspicious or moody are not a fault. Because whoever is described like that have these traits at a limit so it doesn’t hurt anybody. At first I thought that before giving it to the editorial body of my university I would post in my class msn group and wait for their reaction. I have already asked two of the guys from my class on what they feel about the poem. Their response was positive. Even then I have chickened out from posting it to the group and have decided that I would read out the poem out loud to the class and wait for their reaction. Yet again I feel so unsure about it. You never know what you say or write might go and hurt a person and because I am so sensitive about people’s remarks to me I feel that at least when I do such thing I should always be fair and never say something that might hurt somebody. So now the question is ‘to do or not to do’…….(quite a dilemma if you ask me)

The poem if I ever find the courage to show it in my class would have been the part of the magazine my university is planning to publish. This week I went around asking students about their talents for my university magazine or newsletter. My class’s reaction to my question was so funny. None of them wanted to tell me anything about their talent. Out of 14 classmates only 3 gave me their interview. When asked about their talent….. The first half remain silent or some told me they were talent less and the remaining classmates told me they wouldn’t think up of one thing as their talent weren’t focused on a particular thing. From what I know suppose if I had ask one of my classmate to tell my everything there is to tell about a mobile, he would have listed each and everything. That would be called his interest right. But it won’t fall under his talent. Because talent is an “accomplishment” or an ability to do something. Like singing, drawing, playing music instrument, sports, dancing and stuff like that. What I feel is that we should broaden the word “talent” and include knowledge in it as well. So if somebody has an immense knowledge about something it should be called a talent as well. What do you think ? I know its not done over here……. I have always seen that students who can sing , dance, write or always called talented. But what about students who are brainy or students who’s interest lies in a specific field.

I think this is enough for today. See you tomorrow. Take care.

Ciao…..

Moodiness......

Its great to back here. I have really missed posting…… I have been so busy, so wrapped up and such mood swings I have suffered in the past few days. From laughter to sadness to pure frustration to unmistakable anger. I think the mood hurricane is gone now and its just drain me from all my energy. I have also lost my appetite and am not able to enjoy eating anything. I am sleepy all the time but am surviving. The funny part is that I have just finished my spring break and it was suppose to help me not take away everything from me !!!
Anyway whats frustrating me ?
A) My presentation on “Istanbul” nothing about it seems right
B) My business report that I still haven’t started working one
C) My lack of appetite
D) My lack of sleep
E) The editorial meeting that’s dooming on Thursday. I have to stay in university till 4 just because of the meeting. I don’t even have a class then

I need to cheer up big time……. Although I must say today I felt so much better emotionally wise. And this Sunday my childhood friend came to see me in my university. It was such a surprise even though she had told me she would come I didn’t expect her to really show up. (her last minute planning never works out)For the one hour she was there both of us blabbered and chattered like anything.

Do you know that comfortable and familiar feeling you get when you wear your favorite clothes or the one you have when you are with your group of friends ? The feeling of belonging and fitting in…. I love this feeling….and I miss it. I haven’t felt it in such a long time and well its kind of depressing me and then I get angry at myself because I am moaning about something so silly. I have so much to be grateful and thankful for and to be satisfied about. Then why do I get these mood swings ? Now I am a bit free….and will start posting more regularly. Have a nice day everybody ! Take care…….

Knowledge Village pics 2

Knowledge Village pics

Will be back on soon.....

Sorry everybody, am suddenly out of no where very busy. Will be back soon. Wish me luck..................

to what extent......

Everybody must have heard the bombings that took place in Karachi yesterday. 57 people died. 57 people died for no reasons. While Iraq is in verge of a civil war. And less not forget Iran who insists on its uranium enrichment. Its just really sad. The life of so many people is at stake now.
Live and let live…….I think that’s what everybody should be thinking about. Is hatred so strong that its not worth people’s life ? I was wondering today what does a suicide bomber really thinks ? To that individual is his or her life not worth living ? What makes him or her go to the extent of killing themselves as well taking lives of people they know nothing about. They are innocent people. Who have no contact with them. Is any cause really worthy killing people ? For that matter is war something to be proud of ? Even in a war countless soldiers die for their country…… is that worth it…… I have heard many times in movies and books “something are worth dying for and fighting for” but to what extent ?

I miss my friends......

All my schools friend are in their A’s level graduation now. I can imagine them all laughing and talking. –OH would be scorning at all the flaws of my old school. Sarah would be beaming proudly and quietly. Razia would be agreeing with –OH and adding her valuable comments to make the whole group laugh. Last but not the least Maddy would be highly emotional on whatever emotion she must be feeling. I am keeping my fingers crossed that’s she is not sad or upset. I miss my friends. And I wish I was their to share this moment with them. If I would have been there I would have been keeping –OH in check so that she doesn’t go overboard, look at Razia for some support, laugh with maddy if she would have been laughing and tried to get some words out Sarah’s mouth. I am sure all of them would be looking really beautiful in whatever formal clothes they must be wearing. Each one different but pretty in their own silent, talkative, funny, practical and emotional way. Did I mention before that how much I missing them now ??? Yea I have. Am also keeping my fingers crossed that all goes smoothly for them. –OH has a magnetism for looking for trouble. While Maddy loves to cry at every single reason she can find. All I can hope that Sarah and Razia would be able to control them. Another person who is missing in our group other than me now is Izzah and Madhu. Izzah would be studying while Madhu would busy with something interesting. Last year around this time all of us were having the time of our life. Funny how things can change so fast so soon sometime

"the girl"

It bloomed !! I guess it wouldn’t wait to take its photograph by me. Unlike my sister and brother who refuse to have their photographs taken. There are about 2 or 3 more flowers ready to bloom , can’t wait to see those blooms.
Today I was going through my old art books. As a child I remember that I was so wrapped up in my own world (playing with my dolls) that I always use to leave my art HW last minute. The result was a drawing not done with my full potential as well last minute pathetic touch-up. My art teacher was very kind about it. I remember how when she use to call my name out she use to tell me how I was capable of more things. Once when I did do my art HW before time she went gushing over my drawing. I had drawn these ladies in different ball-gowns and my teacher thought that the gowns and the idea were lovely. Even though I was very young probably 7 or 8 I remember thinking to myself how it was nothing compared to the drawing made by “the girl”.

I think every class has “the girl” and “the boy”. That one person in class who is perfect in everything. Everybody wishes to be “the girl” because if you are her :
Nobody messes with you
1.You are very popular
2.You are brainy
3.You are sporty
4.You have the voice of an angel
5.You are poise
6.You are an artist
In short to “the boy” and “the girl” everything comes naturally. And if you are the “the girl” in this case to add “the girl” was very, arrogant as well bossy. But some how the class never mind’s the “the girl” bossiness and arrogance.
Well even though my art teacher had been more taken up by my drawing then usual I felt it was an unsaid thing that even though I had done a better job at it , it still doesn’t matter because it was nothing compare to "the girl's" drawing. I remember the “the girl” showing her drawing to her trusty followers and saying that she had another A+ in the bag. And what did I have ? A boring B+. I think those days I decided that it didn’t matter. That art, drawing and colouring are only for people like “the girl”. I had to take only one more year of Art class as after 4th grade you didn’t have it in your time table any longer. It was a relief to me
Anyway in 5 and 6th grade the only artwork I use to do was the ocassional “colouring” in those colouring books. I remember showing my parents my colouring and hearing their countless compliments. I guess to your parents whatever you do is perfect. Anyway in 7th grade we had two activities periods. Activities periods was the time when your friends and you agreed on a particular activity, signed up for that activity, attend the class, did nothing what the teacher said but wasted time on talking. This 7th grade I was very unlucky as I hadn’t signed up for the activities early so I didn’t get the class I wanted to go in as it was too crowded. The only class that would accommodate me was the “Art class”. Needless to say I felt very annoyed. I was happy to have my old kind Art teacher back but when I saw the rest of my classmates I discovered I was in an Art zone. Every girl in my art class had a gift of drawing. And I knew from the very beginning I didn’t have this gift. But something that day what the teacher said kind of changed my point of view in a lot of things. My Art teacher said that if we were willing to work hard , she would do everything she can to help us achieve whatever we wanted to do. She talked about an artist struggle to draw and how it wasn’t easy to see your drawing rejected. Also she said that everyone in the class had real potential and she knew we would do a good job. This memory and pep talk is very vague in my mind now but the effect was so strong that her pep talk left a lasting impression. I think as soon as she was finished talking I had made a silent agreement with myself that in this class I would do whatever it takes to live up to my teacher’s expectation. I knew she would keep her part of the deal and would help me in every possible way.

I remember the first project was shading work. It was a plant with huge leafs. It was the first time I was doing something so difficult and to tell you the truth all I wanted to do was runaway. But my teacher faith in me came back to me. That moment I felt such a determination and enthusiasm to do something. That one hour I slaved over my drawing. All the girls were chattering , talking and having the time of there life but I remember that somehow I had created another world where all that mattered to me was completing that drawing perfectly. It was until I had finished I came back to the real world. I look at my drawing and was amazed at the good job I had done. My teacher felt the same way. I continued this way. Whatever assignments and project she gave us , I worked really hard on it. Suddenly all the gifted ones found me competition.
Even my art teacher complimented me on change and told me how she remembered that when I was younger I never use to do such a good job. The change in me use to surprise my teacher so much that whenever she use to see my drawing she use to repeat the same thing. I use to smile at her secretly. When I passed 7th grade my art teacher took all our drawings for an Art show. I knew when I was giving her those drawing that I would never get it back. I felt very reluctant and sad to give them away. As I felt that all my determination dwelled in those drawing. In those “strokes” where I mixed water colours to bring the effect. In those “dark shading” that I worked seconds on so it would be perfect. In those sketches which I worked so carefully, so afraid that one mistake would ruin the white sheet and leave grey pencil marks.
Now when I look back I realized that I gain something more valuable then those drawings. I lived up to my teacher’s faith. Also I found that the secret of life is true. Such things as determination, hard work, enthusiasm and need to prove yourself can get you the stars if you want. All you need to do is believe in yourself and do the best you can. Sooner then you expect you will have a glittering, twinkling star in your hand winking at you.

PS “the girl” also has the perfect hair. But who cares ? ;)

New obsession

I have found a new obsession. Photography ! Maybe not photography but I am obsessed with the new digital camera my dad bought. At first I was very reluctant to use it. As well as nervous. I opened the box as if I was opening a bomb to cut the wire so it wouldn't explode. When I saw all the little gadgets with it all I wanted to do was scream. I mean why does something so small has to come with so many wires and stuff. I took out the manual. The first thing was charge the battery. Ok the battery was in this plastic case so it looked like the memory stick to me. And so it took me three minutes to figure out that it was the battery and not the memory stick. Then I charged the battery , studied manual as if I was giving some test and then said my prayers . Of course all the effort was worth it. So in one day I took 46 pics. At the rate I am going I am predicting that in 3 days the camera is going to be confiscated from me. (already got the first warning from my mom)
As for the pics I have posted above , well I love the leafy one because the way the leaves are shaped, theres a flower going to bloom with the pic with long leaves (can't wait to take the pic of that) and the last one I like it because it such a tiny thing (cant it for it to grow). I wanted to post more pics but the things take FOREVER to upload. Anyway I am hoping that soon birds show up in my balcony so I can take their pics. And maybe if I am really lucky I wish I can catch sight of a butterfly (that would be my third this year) and be able to take the pic. Anyway thats all for today. See you guys soon. Take care !

Today was such a long day. For three days I have not been getting any proper sleep. If I am forced to get up tomorrow at 9 in the morning again I am sure I will faint. Probably in the middle of the afternoon.
How was my day ? Very tiring !!! My mom is in spring cleaning mood and guess who ends up doing the cleaning. And when it comes to spring cleaning my mom doesn't even allow a speck of dust in the house. Also I still haven't started my presentation and I am BEHIND my schedule in all things I had planned for myself. What am I going to do ? I am just writing this post because I want a record of things I am upto as don't maintain a proper diary. So sometime when I talk gibberish please do ignore me...... as the gibberish is there for myself . Anyway something really hilarious keep happening. Every Friday I request for a song on radio through interent. Anyway my songs are always difficult to find. So now the RJ remembers me as somebody whose songs she is never able to find. Oh and my 12 year old brother finally got his mobile. A mobile thats so much better then mine. Actually nothing compared to mine. But my brother was really sweet about it. "Since I can't use it Appi , you can, I dont mind"...... it did surprise me. I mean you know the way my bro has been harping about this mobile I thought he is probably not going to let anybody touch it. Especially somebody like me who is pathetic when it comes to handling any electronic item. (takes a lot of training) The first day I had my mobile which my parents had FORCED me to take. I had kept it in my handbag. When it started ringining it took me SO long to find it.In fact on the first two ring I was flabbergasted at the sound.The cleaner kept staring at me wondering whats up with me. While I kept fumbling and mumbling. Anyway me going.........To get well deserved sleep. Take care everybody. Adieus.....

PS its turning very warm here. I miss the cold windy weather.

Looking for perfection.....

I have lived in Dubai all my life and it has been my second home. Techanically its really my first home but I guess I am a migrated bird and tend to stick around here for more then winter. Basically its not my country. Anyway as a second home (and techanically-first-home) I love Dubai. When you love something you accept that thing with all their faults. So have I....

Lately a lot of people have pointed out so many faults about Dubai. Most of them are true. And I have been thinking about it. I have come to the conclusion that no country is perfect and so exactly the same way UAE has it own sets of faults. I guess where ever you go one will always be fighting corruption, cruel dictatorship, poverty, abuse , prejudice and so many things. As an individual we need to be NOT be blind about it and of course do something about it.
Some time I wonder how much can we really do ? I know a lot of people who want to bring changes for the better (including myself) but some how I always forget. I know my problem is that I get self-absorbed in my own little world with my troubles that happens because of my faults. But there are days in the middle of night it comes haunting me sometimes. That how I am only taking from this world and not giving anything back. Some time to such extreme that it haunts me that it comes even in my dreams. In fact I had a very strange dream this week.

I dreamt that this kid (he look as if he was from Philippines) showed up in my balcony out of nowhere. And he was about 5 years old and was holding this huge drawing with a message for worldwide peace. As soon as I noticed this drawing all these other kids younger then him shows up out of nowhere. (somehow my small balcony was suddenly accommodating a huge crowd of kids of different nationalities) Adults below my balcony noticed the messages and were very stunned. I am so impressed by this little guy and his message so I hug him. And start crying in my dream. I thank him and tell him that he is so bright and that I know he will do something even bigger then this someday. I wonder to myself in my dream how a little kid has caught people attention on such a big issue. And I have done nothing ….. till now. The dream ends.
So again I am left with this question “what can I do ?” that are within my capabilities to somehow even bring a slight change……
I guess this is all for today. See you guys tomorrow. Take care. Be brave and smile !

Top fives

Top Five books I am dying to read:
Zahir by none other then Paulo Coelho
The Mediator Series by Meg Cabot
Any good book by Roald Dahl
Pat of Silver Bush by LM Montgomery
Valiant A mordern tale of Faerie by Holly Black

Top five things I would love watching now:
Howl's Moving Castle
The Corpse Bride
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Ice Age-the melt down
Any funny movie

Top five places I wouldn't mind being in
Istanbul
Karachi (In my grand-mother's house)
Canada (To visit my uncle)
In a high moutain so I would see a sky filled with thousands of stars
near a beach where nobody is there

From tomorrow onward my spring break starts. Even though spring break is just one week holiday I am so looking forward to it. Lazy mornings, lazy afternoons and lazy nights are what I am planning. Actually I have a lot of things in my mind that I want to do but I intend to do it slowly and with no rush. The break is not something I desperately need like some other people in class but it is something that I would make a good use of. Hopefully I will be able to do it. For now am signing off still tomorrow. (am in a mood of a good book today.And don't feel like sitting in front of the computer.) So see you soon ! Take care.

To believe in fate....

I remember having a very distinct debate with my classmate 2 years back. She was a person who when argues or debated wanted to win to such an extent that she wanted to even change the opponent’s mind and I was the type of person that when I feel strongly for an issue I fight for it to the extent that I refuse to accept any of my opponent’s point.
The argument was about fate, destiny and how it plays a hand in our life. She said that at the end of the day you can’t fight fate. My point was that what you reap is what you sow. Maybe fate does play a very tiny hand but at the end of the day it’s your action that decides your future. I remember how the debate was broken off as nobody else was participating and both of us were getting a little bit too serious. I guess the teacher thought that any moment we would take out our swords and start a sword fight. (Rulers would replace swords pretty well. I had one those steel ruler ;) )
Anyway today maybe if this classmate would have seen me she would have felt a very inner-satisfaction. Because today I had the same debate but I was with “fate”. I guess it was my destiny….. I find it so funny. I mean just two years back I was saying “Oh please fate is fate but don’t make fate an excuse for your non-action”. Today I found myself saying, “Sometime we might put in our best of efforts, our best of planning but fate plays an important role in it. If it’s not with you then whatever you intend to do is bound not to work with you”.
You know in two years nothing major happened in my life to make me change my mind so I am wondering why I changed my mind….. even without realizing it ?
Even though I believe in fate and destiny I still believe in putting my best of efforts. And yes I still do believe in “what you reap is what you sow”…. Because the way you treat people is exactly the same way they will treat you. If you care for them they are bound to care for you as well, if you dislike them they are bound to dislike you. Do you know 70% communication comes from your body language ? This means that if a person is good at observing body language or facial expression he or she doesn’t need your word for anything.

Anyway to finish my point now my belief is that if you want something in life, go and try getting it. Put in your heart, soul and every fiber of your body for that thing. But always have it in the back of your mind that “anything can happen”. So if luck is not with you , move on , maybe it wasn’t the best for you and something better is waiting for you. In life everything can’t go the way you want and maybe that’s why its “life”. The unpredictable part of it makes it so challenging and fulfilling.
I guess that’s all for today. I am leaving you guys with one of my favourite poems by Edgar Allan Poe. Its called “Annabel lee”. Enjoy and keep smiling !


Annabel Lee


It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that,
long ago,In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-Yes!- that was the reason
(as all men know,In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in Heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide,
I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the side of the sea.

Knowledge Village

I am really happy today. I think I am half floating because I feel so light and dizzy. Why? Well because I got full in the Math’s test that I gave last week. My teacher didn’t bring the paper but she was happy with me. Even though I lost 8 marks I think the bonus questions made up for it. I can’t wait to see the paper. I knew that I had done well in those bonus questions but since I didn’t check my answers as there was no time left it was holding me back from hoping for the best. The best part is that I have achieved my goals for the week. I had set target for myself that I would keep improving my marks as well keep getting the highest in my class. And it was the same for my computer test today. I scored 9.5 out of 10 and last time I had just gotten 8. I just hope my English and Business marks are almost the same. (I am so proud of myself !)

I am typing this post from my university lab. There are no curtains in the lab so I can see the view outside. There are huge date palm trees standing surrounded by lush tiny bushes with red flowers blooming around them.
My university is in Knowledge Village (don’t you just love the name. it sounds so good to the ear) Knowledge Village is just like its name. It has number of universities in it so basically all you see there are university students. All students of all nationalities. So it’s a like a small world secluded from the big world. And this small world is dominated by students. They have built the buildings beautifully. There are bubbling fountains near each university. They have a lovely walking area. The food court have all the famous branch like KFC, Baskin robins, MacDonald and also different food from different countries. There’s also a super market, Bookshop and I don’t know “what not”. Its lovely studying here. The fact it always kept clean and maintained beautifully shows that they are organize as well.

Ok one more big thing ! Today we are celebrating the one month anniversary of my blog !!!! ( hooting from my side) To tell you the truth I can’t believe how time flew. I owe it to all you guys (Big Applause for you guys from me . YAAAAAA !)

Take care everybody ! Have fun !