My Life

Elections or Popularity Contest ?

2009-02-03T04:31:00.000-08:00

Today we had student council elections in my university for the first time ! And it was embarrassing ! I thought voters have power to choose whomever they want. The elections held over here seems like marketing campaign for a product though. I personally thought it was a total riot. Supporters were coming and asking me whom Im voting for ! It was annoying because who I vote for is my personal right and business. And I felt so brain washed and I felt really bad when I had to refuse people. I guess elections anywhere is dirty politics. It’s really sad though because I think at school and university level it should be done better and fairly. With no brain washing and no money throwing ! The money spent on elections in university would have been utilized for something our university needs. Plus I don’t even think the people running for elections know their rights. Anyway here’s hoping whoever wins turns out to be the best candidate of all and not because he or she is popular !

Princess Diaries coming to end

2008-12-01T08:44:00.000-08:00

I stopped reading Princess Diaries like two years back....College was so hectic that I just wouldnt read Princess Diaries when my whole life was upside down.....And now suddenly my sister started reading the Princess Diaries and it was like walking down the lane of my past..When I read the first part of Princess Diaries I didnt get it why i liked it so much....And then as I started reading book 3, 4 and onwards I did realize why I liked it so much...Princess Mia is so human ! Also she doesnt sees herself as she is to other people but is trapped in an image she has about herself. Like she is not pretty and like being tall is dumb...Arent we all that ? We have this image about ourself and cant seem to get out of it...The weirdest part is the last book of Princess Diaries is coming out January 2009....I feel so sad about it. Its another part of my teens that I will be saying goodbye forever. Even though Im already 20 but finding out that last book of Princess diaries is FINALLY going to come out is like totally and officially saying "goodbye to my teen years"I didnt feel this sad when I read the last book of Harry Potter. And I always thought I liked Harry Potter better than Princes Diaries. I remember when the third book of princess diaries had come out (when i was in 9th grade i think), I had read an interview that Meg Cabot will have ten books. I had thought Meg Cabot was crazy to have ten books but reading all 9 books again I realize that Mia has grown up so much. Just like I have !

IMMATURE

2008-09-19T11:03:00.000-07:00

Im so scared. And I don’t know why. You know the bad feeling you get sometimes that keeps haunting your mind. Well that “thing” is haunting me. I wonder if Im reaching my breaking point. Im going to turn 20 soon. Ok don’t think I hate turning 20 because im a girl. I hate turning 20 because Im too immature to turn 20. You know what ? I never wanted to grow up. Seriously ! When I was younger I use to wait for Peter Pan to show up at night !

I have thought a lot about this and I guess I just want to take the easier way out of life !! I think a part of me will always wish for Peter Pan to come but I wish I would start doing something useful instead of just wishing for stupid things. See ! Im always wishing ! Never trying to put those words into action…How immature and lazy one can be !?!

Muhammad & Laiba……

2008-09-14T22:09:00.000-07:00

Muhammad is my bratty almost 4 year old cousin. Whenever he is around he tends to destroys everything in its path. Once he drank up my grand mama attar bottle. (Thank God nothing happened to him because he spilled it more than he would drink) When somebody asked him whether attar tasted bitter , he agreed. Then we asked him why in the world he drank a bitter thing. He went like “Because I wanted to”. This is not the only thing on his mischief list. Whenever he is in my room and I’m working with my laptop he will come and bang on it. But no matter what Muhammad does you will always love him because he is so loving. And he has this most innocent smile so you will believe all the stories and lies he will tell. :D

Laiba is the youngest of the family. She is just 1 year 4 months old. She has learned the joys of walking two months back so she is still exploring the whole villa. Unlike Muhammad who tends be destructive of everything in its path Laiba is inquisitive and want to learn different things. For example some time she closes her eyes and spins around the room trying to make out the room. Or she will look and observe all the plants that are growing. Everybody ADORES her and wants to play with her. She is the apple of our eyes. And although she doesn’t mind us disturbing her , she always prefers to explore on her own. Now Muhammad loves to make fuss over her. Whenever she enters the room still trying to maintain her balance he will run towards her and hug her. And tell her in cooing voice “Woooow laiba itniiiiiiiiii pyariiiii lag rahi hainnnnnn laibaaaaaaa”. Muhammad will actually fight with Hasan (Laiba’s brother) claiming that he is laiba’s brother too. And Hasan will always tell him that Laiba is only his sister. Laiba always ignore Muhammad fussing but when he tries hugging her or to lead her away to play with him she always give him whack with her hand and go her own sweet way. I always see this scene and laugh to myself. And I always laugh because laiba is the only person immune to Muhammad’s innocent smile.

But yesterday during iftari some thing happened that I will always remember. Muhammad got the scolding of his life because he was being destructive as usual. This time he had tried jumping fromthe bed to reach the emergency light on top of the wardrobe. Obviously he would of broken his neck so his mom gave him a thrashing of his life so he wouldn’t repeat his action again. Anyway when Muhammad came in the room with his mom , he was howling and crying. His mom sat down for iftari. Laiba was also in the room with her mom. During iftari Laiba always sits quietly with her mom and never disturb anything or anybody. Anyway suddenly she got up and walked towards the crying Muhammad who had his face hidden in his hands. I was so sure she was going to whack him again for howling. But you know what she did ! She first sort of whacked his hand. Muhammad who was hiding his face looked up to her. Then when she got his attention instead of walking away as she usually does she actually patted on his head like she was giving him comfort. And she walked back to her mom. I smiled for I realized so Laiba wasn’t immune to Muhammad's smile after all.

2008-06-07T12:49:00.000-07:00

Im finally moving to Pakistan !!! This time its very final because the cartons are here for packing. In some ways Im so EXCITED ! I mean Karachi is such a different place and it will be a whole different growing experience. I will be exposed to more stuff. And there are so many things and activities that can be done in Karachi easily. Parties and events are more fun because there are so many people there.

But a deeper, cynical and darker part of me is so scared !!That part of my heart and deep in mind just wants to curl up somewhere in a corner and weep…Leaving a country and moving to a completely different environment seems “impossible”. I wont have any of my friends there…I will be all alone while they will be here in Dubai. How will I make new friends ? My friends are such true and awesome friends (MashaAllah) , will anybody be able to be as true and awesome as them ? Sometimes all I want to do is sit somewhere and think about everything deeply. And sometime I just want to grab all my friends in group hug and start crying that I don’t want to leave them. And this might sound so babyish but I want to cry our loud “Im too OLD to make friends and too old to leave my comfort zone”. Making friends is not easy. It requires a lot of searching and commitment ! Also that part of me that just wants to sob says that it will be difficult to keep in touch and soon I will lose track of them. From talking to them regularly on phone like now , I will probably hear from them on special occasions like Eid, Birthdays and as time passes soon we will forget each other. All I will be left is with “memories”.

The stronger side of me with a weak voice keeps telling me that my friendship will survive distance and time. It wants to count the blessings that at least my whole and extended family is there with me. Im very close to my siblings even with the age difference between us. And even though we fight like cats and dogs we always join together in time of crisis. The funniest part is last time when we were moving I was worried about silly things like the electricity and lack of luxury and about moving into a joint-family. But things have changed a lot since. Things like electricity is important but they dont make you laugh. Without electricity you are mad and at an inconvience but without close friends its like part of your heart is ripped out. Luxuries makes you happy for days but moments with friends makes you laugh even years later when you are a grandparent.

I have come to realize the true meaning of friendship. I have always been blessed with true friendship. But to appreciate it I had to see true friendship breaking to understand the importance of it. I had to see good friends leaving to understand that its not big things that make friendship special but the private and special moments. Those jokes we share, those songs we sing together ,those silly nicknames we make , those silly things you do in front of friend like “walking into glass door” ;) or how you get locked inside in a classroom by the teacher because you were making too much racquet or stand on a fountain without flowing water so you have a greater height to see stars, those surprise parties that are never complete surprise, those laughers over the silliest unnecessary things just because you want to get out of studying, those tricks, those beating, those dances even with my two left feet, those spinning around, those time we drive each other to insanity, those moment where we scream at each other even in a van or corrioder, those silly fights, those silly games, those long talks in the car on the way to home……So much memories….And there will be more but I wont be a part of those….All this is what Im going to miss the most and so MUCH MORE…

When it comes face to face I don’t know if I will able to tell my friend how much they mean to me and if I try to write my feelings to my friends its going to take books and books not just pages. Im going to miss them a LOT, TRULY, DEEPLY AND SO MUCH.

My friends gave me a surprise party and their farewell cake was shaped like a butterfly. All my friends know im crazy about butterflies but the deeper reason I love butterflies is because I read somewhere it’s a sign of new horizon and opportunities. Lol ….its really funny how they by giving me so much love and with a butterfly cake they gave me a BIGGER SIGN that everything in Karachi will fine. All I need to do is look at it positively. So here’s to a new beginning ! But to me its not farewell or goodbye. Sitting from Karachi Im still going to nag the hell out of my friends. :D Now Im too emotional to write any more…Im grinning like an idiot but my eyes are welling up... well…Anybody who read this you guys don’t need to comment…I just wanted to spill it out all….Take care…Much Later….

PS…have kept the pic of the cake so large because I want it to be a beautiful reminder to me….

How to say "no" to people ?

2008-05-03T09:11:00.000-07:00

My life would be lot easier if instead of using the reluctant two-letter word “ok”, I would be using “NO”. Why is “no” so difficult to say to your loved ones or to complete strangers? I did two very stupid things today just because I can never say no to people and always get emotionally manipulated. And after I am emotionally manipulated I feel like a total and complete fool. I feel that I have betrayed myself because my inner self was screaming no. Which is a lot worst as you can runaway from people but how in the world are you going to runaway from yourself ??Anyway I looked up on the internet on how to say no and found this “ http://www.wikihow.com/Say-No-Respectfully”

Implementation is very important and I guess I will start small !!!

Boyfriend problem ?

2008-01-14T04:52:00.000-08:00

Im so good at embarrassing myself I don’t need anybody else to do it for me ! In fact usually I think “EMBARASSMNET” and I are very good friends and we have dinner almost every other month. Anyway some days back I embarrassed myself by crying…..It started with a stupid thing. I didn’t know how to explain it to my concerned friends who all gathered around me like bees gathered around a poor flower that I wanted to cry , I needed to cry and I wanted to be left alone. My crying had robbed me my voice and all I would do was sob.
Anyway when I did finally manage stopped crying , I started all over again when we sat on the stairs of our university. This time I was crying genuinely because I realized that I needed to get more self-control. And I will never achieve my New Year resolution in hiding my feelings at the rate I was going. Out of nowhere this eccentric teacher showed up whom I admired a lot. He looked at me and smiled sympathetic “Boyfriend problem”, he asked. Which made me laugh. So not only was I crying like a lunatic, I was laughing like one. I told him “No, Im not dumb”. At the back of my mind I was thinking “No way am I ever going to cry over a boyfriend”. Then my sir asked “what’s your problem then?” I automatically said “everything”. “Hmmm so not only you have boyfriend problem but EVERYTHING is bothering you?” he said in sing song voice that one use when talking to kids. I laughed again. This conversation was getting hilarious by the minute. I would just imagine crying over a guy. My life is already complicated enough and adding a boyfriend would make it suicidal. Plus I don’t believe in keeping boyfriends at this age as it will be stupid. Also why do everybody always assume that when a girl is crying she is crying over a guy.That’s such a preconceived notion by everybody and I wonder when we will ever get rid of this old automatic thought. I was about to explain it to the sir how I don’t believe in keeping boyfriends and how it wasn’t in our culture and at my age you are growing up so why complicate it more by adding more complications to it and why did he think I had a boyfriend trouble and then I realized who im having a conversation with. I also remembered that my other New Year resolution was not to blurt out my whole life history to anybody who Im talking with. I sighed then.

I then say “I don’t have a boyfriend. And sir Im not a kid. Im 19 year old. Im crying because im at my limit’s end”. At this the sir smiled wisely. “Well I have a 19 year old son and I know life can get tough. But don’t waste your precious tears. Nothing is worth that”, He said sadly. I thought “Are all dads the same. My dad says the same thing. And I will never get it why tears are precious. Wasting them is a good indulgence for me”. I nodded my head. No use saying something that I know he wont get it. My friend who was sitting next to me asked sir to make me promise that I wont cry again. I started at disbelief. “well are you ok now ? “, he asked. Again I nodded my head. He said said , ”good bye”. I smiled and I hope I said thank you, I know I was thinking it…..

Facebook fanatic

2008-01-05T08:30:00.000-08:00

I have been wanting to post so badly in my blog.....but something always stops me or holds me back.....I miss writing !!!! At one point writing all the words in my head seemed like craziness and now i know it wasnt craziness it was passion....I miss the passion....Passion makes life beautiful , more colourful and definetly more worthwhile....

I can go on about so many things....For today i will just tell you about a new hobby...Well almost every teen I know uses facebook...dont know about the adults but facebook is the most "in" thing these days....Anyway for me its a good time pass but one of the application thats my favourite is the bumper sticker which you can stick in your profile...Some of the quotes in those bumper sticker is totally related to my life so am im just copying them here as well....As I grow old i realize that even though we are individuals we do go through the same experiences...What makes us different is how we react to them so Im sure these quotes will remind you of somebody or trigger something in your mind....Do let me know what it does......So enjoy !! Miss you all !!

"I rather be hated for who Im than loved for who Im not" Kurt Cobain

'Many people have told me that I have changed but the truth is...I think I have just found myself'

'All I want for ONE guy to prove to me that they are

not like the rest'

' The truth is everyone is going to hurt you.'

You just have to decide who is worth the pain...'

'As we grow old we dont lose our friends

we just learn who our real ones are...'

'I dont miss you, I just miss the person you were...'

'Let go of whats kill you

hold on to whats keeps you breathing...'

The bird and I....

2007-07-13T12:19:00.000-07:00

A tiny bird crashed in our balcony this evening. And for some reason beyond my understanding the bird instead of flying up , it kept flying straight into the glass. Since it wasnt flying up (like every bird should), it wasnt able to find its way out from the balcony. Now everybody in my family are city people and never care for pet animals. My mom, bro , sis and I kept staring at the bird. In fact my siblings and I kept screaming from the room at the bird to fly up.(Had nothing better to do) After 30 minutes of screaming my mom sigh and get a bowl of rice and water and keep it in the balcony. We end up deciding that the bird can stay in the balcony for the night and we would get the maid ( who comes in the morning) to release it tomorrow.My mom and bro leaves the room. But my sis and I are simply fascinated by the bird. My sis wants to makes friend with it and for me Im trying to think of it from a bird's point of view.

Bird's point of view.....

Why isnt the bird flying up ? Arent all birds suppose to fly up ?
Does the birds want to remain in the balcony ?
Why isnt the bird frightened by the racket we were making in the room. Is our balcony door sound proof ?
It must be horrible to trapped in a such tiny place when you got the something as big as the sky ?

While Im thinking all these thoughts my sis is making the bird listen to "Reason" by hoobastank. She is also singing it loudly to so that she can makes friend with the dumb creature. By then I have concluded that the bird is obviously dumb to NOT to fly up and prefering the tiny balcony.

My mom shows up in the room. She had to say then " I hope the bird survives the morning heat. You know how hot it gets and since its not flying it will be stuck in the heat. Plus the maid might come late". I look at her with a pleading look and say " Cant you get it out?". My mom says no. My sis refuses as well my bro leaving only me. Eventhough logically its impossble that the bird would die , but I didnt want it to rot in the heat. So then I ask my mom to tie both my hands in shopping bag. As I hate touching strange things from wild. I go to the balcony as if Im going for some war. I was so scared to pick it up ! First of all its a living thing not use to be being picked up, second of all it was so small and what if its hurt itself while i grab it and third of all I would hate being grabbed by somebody ten times my size. My little bro is 4 times my size and I hate it when he grabs my hands to drag me around somewhere. But then I didnt want it rotting in the heat. So when the first time I grabbed the bird it flapped it wings , I screamed for my life. Second time when I grabbed it only flapped it wings once but I was terrified so I let it go. By then I gave up and I told my mom that I cant do it ! My mom told me "If you are brave enough to begin it , you might as well finish it". Those words hit my heart so this time I just caught hold of the bird with one hand and flung it out side the balcony with closed eyes. I prayed that in that one nano second that it doesnt break it's neck from my throwing it but when I opened my eyes, I saw it flying. Some how then it didnt seem so tiny with it wings spread......Hmm and all I would do was smile and be glad that it has found it freedom....Freedom and a flight ? Eventhough it was dumb not to fly up , I do envy its freedom and wings..... even though I would recommend it a brain transplant !

2007-06-30T13:49:00.001-07:00

The dead dont haunt us by their prensce but by their absense

Forgive and Forget (I cant do both !!!)

2007-06-16T12:23:00.000-07:00

It irks me like hell that I cant forgive people easily. I can ask for forgiveness easily and actually convince the other person to forgive me usually (don’t know if the person does forgive me from heart but I try my level best) BUT when it comes to forgiving somebody. I don’t ! I never forgive people easily. WHY ?
Why is it so difficult for me ? I cant seem to forgive people for being dumb or insensitive!
Suppose person A is very dumb. Everybody hates person A because he or she is one of those irritating kind of person who gets into a good position by mistake or lady luck And I know person A is dumb. I know person A has been sent down on this Earth to makes other people’s lives miserable. So if person A does something stupid which involves me it should be easy for me to forgive him and her.

No , its not ! Im still fuming…

I cant believe I took these snaps....

2007-05-28T22:41:00.000-07:00

2007-03-10T23:51:00.000-08:00

I know it’s been a looooonnnng time but like I mentioned before I have been very wrapped up emotionally as well work wise. Anyway my today’s topic is that have you ever seen something very precious fall and break ? Something very fragile and beautiful fell right before your eyes. After it fell and crashed to pieces you wondered whether it was really something worth your tears ? Maybe it wasn’t worth much and just looked expensive.

Well these days such questions are haunting my mind. Except its not a vase or some item but friendship. I don’t why ? I’m the type of person that always know what I want and I know Im not the confused type so it bothers me to be so confused and hay-wired now ! Plus my driving classes are not helping. Im learning how to drive a manual car and even though it is fun I wished it didn’t take up so much of my energy and I wish my instructor was more understanding. Anyway I have a class now ! Better run ! Hope its interesting ! You guys take care !

Much later,
me

Blabbering

2007-02-17T09:44:00.000-08:00

Techanically I have tonnes to write about:

My driving classes (which Im pathetic at)
My results (got 5 A+ AND one miserable C+)
How I should learn to let go of things !
How I should change my obession with certain things
How I always pick vanilla and never other ice cream flavour
And band manager and my bro will be the reason of my ending up in the asylum

But now I rather talk about how I should be sleeping. And will leave in five minutes. I wish my fairy Godmother would iron my clothes. I wish I didnt have such a long "to do list". I wish things would slow down. I wish would stop wishing about silly things. If I have to wish why cant I wish sensible things ? But are wishes really sensible ? I guess I better go. Everybody take good care and keep smiling !

The loss of my hair...

2007-02-05T11:21:00.000-08:00

Yup my intuition was right for the millionth type. My hair has been chopped to minimal. During the cutting ceremony all I would was stare at the lady cutting my hair and ONLY think in my mind “God you are cutting my hair so much ! Will you leave anything!!!”. I would have stopped her but the damage was already done by the time I realized what the length she was going to leave me of my hair. I hate it! Its just too short for me. It took me 3 years to grow back my hair only for it to be cut by somebody again. Last time I had cut my hair short I had promised myself I would never cut it again. So much for such promises ! I had scolded a friend once for not stopping the hairdresser from cutting off her beautiful hair (her hair was very beautiful, long and thick). I had literally screamed at her for not even coming to her hair’s defense. Now I know what it’s like having your hair cut off like that and am so going to go and apologize to her. I guess that’s all for today. You guys take care and be very specific with your hairdressers when you meet them next time !!!

My intuition

2007-02-05T03:14:00.001-08:00

My sis: “ bla bla bala bla bla”
Me: ( am totally ignoring her and am continuing my work in adobe Photoshop)
My sis: “AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
Me: ( Still ignoring the little brat)
My sis says in desperation: “Tell me I’m annoying ?”
I take a calm breath
Me: “I have to get this done. Later I will do WHATEVER you want me to do”
My sis is satisfied and runs from the room. When I hear her running I knew she was going to fall and split the internet wire. My mind was automatically screaming for my intuition to be wrong. But I had to be the right ! Next I heard a crash and a loud “OUCH”. Then total silence. My mind was pleading to God “Please don’t let her say that she snapped the internet wire”. But it was too much to ask God at that moment. Because next I hear my sis mouse-like voice “Pepepi (that’s what’s she is calling me these day & is derived from “Appi” supposedly) I snapped the internet wire”.

Yes I got mad ! Mad not because the she snapped the internet wire because my intuition always have to right about such things but never in useful things. Usually I can predict the weather well, predict a teacher will not show up for class, predict what HWs are important or not, ask whom to help when I need help, predict what things will break but never about important things. Eg I can never judge a person trustworthy. When I meet people I always have alarm bells ringing because there’s no intuition to guide me. I have no sixth sense when it comes to people but about craziest thing !!! Plus today I’m getting my haircut and my feelings are telling me that its either going to be very bad or very good but not to expect it to be ok. I would rather want my haircut to be ok but not bad. I cant simply afford it being bad. Let my intuition be wrong for once. Much later…

Where is everything ?

2007-02-02T11:52:00.000-08:00

Yesterday my mom and I went shopping. My mom needed to buy all the things that requires running a family for a month. Anyway when we dragged the trolley cart outside we discovered that there were no taxis. Plus the shopping mall is kind away from the main road. So this stranger came to us and offered to drive us up to our home. My mom agreed. And we did reach home safe. This is the third time it has happened as this mall is always without taxis. My mom always agree to these strangers because from what we know ,they are very poor and these people are trying to earn money as much possible in anyway so that they can it send it to their home. Not only that ,always these strangers have been very polite and helpful. Like yesterday this man had went out of his way to help us with the shopping bags unlike the taxi drivers who don’t do anything. My mom and I had one case where the taxi driver had stood outside to check dents on his car and let us two ladies unload the bags. I do expect Taxi drivers to help me because yes I am old fashioned and I think whenever anybody is struggling with bags it won’t hurt you to help them. So these strangers are such a nice contrast to these Taxi drivers. But one thing always bother me are about those stories you hear of being kidnapped and stuff. I am wondering why is it so difficult to trust strangers…

Has it always been like this in the world from the beginning of time that you cant trust strangers. No matter how helpful and polite they are. I don’t know about you guys but these days every thing seems difficult. Trusting people, making true friends, being compassion, sticking to your family and even falling in love. I can make a list of people who complain about their friends and a list of people who don’t trust their on blood and a list of people who thinks true love (love of any kind) don’t exist. My question is has the world has always been like this ? Or was it better in the past ? And why is it so difficult ? I think its difficult because we lack the faith. If you don’t believe something doesn’t exist how will you ever find it or see it? Its sort of like believing in God without seeing Him but we still pray to Him and ask stuff from Him. Why ? Because we have faith that He is listening to us. Then again I can show you the newspaper that has utter nonsense in it, the prejudices, the killing of hundred innocents , the war and everything that makes you wonder how will you ever survive in this planet ?

PS. Taxi drivers are strangers too but we still trust them.

2007-01-30T11:44:00.000-08:00

Hello everybody ! Lately Im a bit "twix" crazy ! I just cant seem stop eating it ! But Im afraid that I will have too much of it and then will simply hate it after some time. Before I was bananas over Snickers and before that it was Galaxy and before that it was Kitkat. Does this happen a lot ? Does ones moods for chocolates keep changing ? Or your favourites remain favourite ? Even now even though I like eating galaxy , snickers but if given with a Twix I would simply choose Twix.

PS. Currently I cant have any even though its in my house as they are my sibling's share. And thats why it making me only think how I would enjoy it more than anybody.

2007-01-23T12:14:00.000-08:00

This post is long due. I have wanted to come back for so long but something has always held me back. I have been so wrapped up in my own world. In fact the past few months I even gave up writing. (that should explain a lot) In these 4 or 5 months lot of things has changed. I have changed , people around me have changed and even circumstances have changed. You know when the new year started I felt that whatever I have learned was not in one year but what had happened in the past few months. I have learned to be more observant, more open-minded, more direct and definitely more straight-forward. Also that one should always hold on things that means to them and not let go of it at any cost. Because once you let go it’s the end of everything.

And it really feels weird writing this post today. I have really missed writing. I’m wondering now why did I ever stop ? There’s a lot of stuff happening around me that I’m upset about. Waking up each day always reminds me of things that I cant stop and prevent. Plus I’m very fed-up of immature people. Fedup of people who don’t know how to differentiate from what’s important and what’s not ? And am fed-up of my habit which makes me never mind my own business. In short I’m tired of a lot of things.

Well I have to go. Sorry this wouldn’t be much of a chirpy and optimistic post but I think I will come around. Anyway its great to be back. You guys take care and keep smiling.

2006-08-13T07:49:00.000-07:00

Hello Beautiful people out there. I know I have been away for sometime. Well am in karachi. Am totally enjoying the rain and the weather. Also getting wet in the rain is a blast.....especially if u have younger cousins laughing their heart out. Ok internet access is not easy here so i will be away for a month now. I think i will be able to drop a line then and now but even though i really miss the blog world and the internet world, a part of me is so happy being here with my family.(so it doesnt mind being away from internet. Maybe finally i will be able to get over my obssesion with the net)By the way I saw another butterfly today. That also after it finished raining. It was black with yellow stripes. Ok so you can party in this blog if you want just dont leave a mess. ;) I hope I can trust you all with this.(my blog is practically my home!!!) Take care everybody & see you in your blogs when I come back........

2006-07-27T14:14:00.000-07:00

Thank God that when I want get in touch with a friend I can post her, email her and if these two methods dont work then call her ! I’m just missing a friend very badly. She has gone to England forever and today I was constantly reminded of the fact. Plus she was the only friend who use to love reading the same books as I and it use be so nice exchanging books and then later having huge conversation about those books with French fries or something spicy. There are some people you just click with and she and I clicked with each other. Now the chances of her and me reading the same book is nil as neither of us are there to lend the book unless we start parceling the book and that costs a LOT. Even buying a book cost a lot here ! Anyway I am really glad that we can keep in touch ! Isn’t it great that we have so many ways to communicate with our love ones. We can fax them, post them, call them, write to them, email them, text message them, send an e-card, chat online and not to forget voice and video conferencing. My personal favorites are long emails, unexpected e-cards, unexpected cards from post or cards on the occasion of my birthday especially posted to me from Pakistan and Canada and letters. By the way if you are looking for cool and lovely e-cards you should try www.hallmark.com. (nobody I know usally know about Hallmark) I think they are the best ! (They even have a section e-card where you congratulate someone for getting a house or a teacher appreciation e-cards !)

Oh ! And also you can fly to meet your love ones ! (Not always an easy and cheap task no wonder its the last alternative !) I will be flying to Karachi on the 4th to meet my family ! I miss them And to eat the spicy bun kebab as I love it and my taste buds totally yearns to eat and chew it. (but the first bun kebab am definitely going to gobble it !! ) That’s all for now ! I have to start my packing which I dislike doing. Take care everybody ! Have fun !

PS if you have a good website for e-cards except 123greetings (which are good too) and American greeting (which are not all free) do post them here. It would be much appreciated !!!

2006-07-26T13:03:00.000-07:00

Guess who decided to join the blogsphere ! My sis ! My 10 year old sis ! And her first post makes me want to just quit the blogsphere. I should have locked her in a room or something. I should have never given into her badgering, nagging, complaining, toturing, shouting, singing and I think you get the picture.

http://www.bandmanagerlife.blogspot.com/

The matter of hair

2006-07-25T13:22:00.000-07:00

“APPI”, YOU DYED YOUR HAIR” , screamed my bro at me. “Nooo I didn’t dye my hair”. Suddenly my bro was pulling my small plait and dragging it to my face. “Look its BROWN !”, he screamed in my ear. “Yea I know, tell me something new”, said I. “Your hair is BLACK not brown”, said my bro. “Oh yea I forgot I had dyed it”, I lied.
(it was getting interesting and didn’t want the show to stop)
Before I knew it my bro had rushed to the room my mom was in. I would hear him frantically explaining how his sister had dyed her hair brown and how would his mom allow such a thing. My mom explained to him kindly that in strong sunlight his eldest sister’s hair turns brownish reddish and is technically 3 colours depending on the light. My bro comes back to me. “Good you didn’t dye your hair”, said he. “Well I was planning to dye it light brown so you better take your good back”,said I jokingly. “WHAT ?”

Yup the screaming session started. And my 12 year old brother started bossing me around. I got so mad. I mean it’s my life, my hair. If I want to dye it I can. My parents don’t mind and I even have an uncle who asked me if I wanted to dye my hair. ( He promised me that if my parent disagreed on me dying my hair he would talk with them !) So with such cool-headed people around me how in the world did I ended up with such a bossy little brother who is currently obsessed with my hair. To get back on him for screaming at him I told him I have full attention to dye my hair either red or blonde. I told him I am pondering on the subject. As red hair would clash with pink clothes. (I made it up) And blonde hair is un-Meera like. But how do I know its un-Meera like when I haven’t seen myself with blonde hair ? I actually asked for his opinion which turned him purple. Ok not purple but his huge eyes were filled with frustration and anger. I wish I wanted to dye my hair but the sad truth is I don’t want to dye my hair. Anyway it doesn’t matter. Knowing him he won’t get a good night sleep in trying to come up with plans to stop me.

My sister on the other hand is facing a complete different situation with my parents. My parent wants to cut her hair as she doesn’t take care of it and its always messy. Because they keep cutting it , it has never managed to grow. This time my 10 year old sis has put her foot down and is rebelliously fighting for her rights. The thing is my parents do have a point. I mean even with her short hair she manages to mess it up beautifully. But even I had enough of her short hair so I am supporting her. So I made a pact with my mom that I would make sure her hair is always neat in return they wont cut her hair. But it turn out that keeping her hair neat is the most difficult job on the Earth!

Hmm welcome to the glimpse of my home life. I find it hilarious I guess because its mine and mine alone. Anyway you guys take care ! Have a blast !

Veronika decides to die

2006-07-24T12:29:00.000-07:00

Quoting from Veronika decides to die, “And all of us, one way or another, are mad”.

I finished reading “Veronika decides to die” by Paulo Coelho. The book was a bit of a surprise and it took me sometime to get use to it. It’s a beautiful, thoughtful and one crazy ;) book. What I simply loved about this book was how it has so many things to think about and so many different people with their different stories. To tell you the truth at first I didn’t like Vernoika , I don’t know maybe it was because how she puts it that," she wanted to commit suicide because she would gain nothing by continuing her life and she felt everything in this world was wrong and that she had no way of putting things right." To me it just didn’t seem right. But as you read further you find deeper meanings and why she felt this way.

The book begins with her taking an overdose of sleeping pills but instead of dying she lands herself in the asylum called “Villete”. Over there she discovers that she is still going to die but she has a week or maybe 2 to 4 days to live. I think that was the first turning point because its one thing to completely kill yourself but another thing to wait for death. She meets the mad people of Villete. ( some of them arent even mad, infact after reading this book you will wonder about correcting your defination of "madness") All these people are there for different reasons. And from these people she learns to accept differences in people .

What this book is about ? Its about how we look at the world from one point of view, its about how we easily give up our dreams, its about how we are so afraid to be different, its about how we always judge, its about the country Slovenia, its has a bit about Sufism (just enough to get you interested in it) and so many other things.
It’s a book worth reading. You need to read it to get it. No use me writing about it because I don’t have words to describe this book. Like all Paul Coelho’s books its make you think.

Anyway I had a normal day except for the huge bookslide that took place from my wardrobe in attempt to hide all my magazines from mom. (so she wouldn’t think of asking me to give it away or throwing it away) My luck is such that the bookslide occurred when my mom was in the room. Imagine her look of shock ! So much for my attempt of hiding my magazines.

Well that’s all for today. Do have a lovely day ! Be mad ! :)

The forbidden closet adventure.

2006-07-23T12:09:00.000-07:00

‘What are you doing” I said to my sis. My sis had opened the forbidden closet of the house. Before I knew it all my strictness was gone when I saw my sister snooping around all the forbidden stuff. Which are ancient jewelry, ancient boxes filled with bangles, beautiful clothes that you wont be caught wearing these days but still beautiful and everything that’s forbidden. My sister loves to snoop around so did I at her age. But when you are older and busy you don’t get time to snoop around near the forbidden closet. We were so excited to see all the forbidden stuff that we forget that just five minute before we had a fight. Where I had screamed on top of my lungs for my parents as my sister was spying on me and my sister had jumped on the bed and hid her face inside the blanket and called me a “baby”. She had said that I acted like a baby, cried like baby , smiled like baby. (Ok I said too much )

Anyway I was particularly interested in the jewelry. I would never be caught wearing them except when somebody does a 70’s dress-up party but it’s still nice to wear them and pretend that you are this lost princess who are about part with your most precocious jewels. ‘Stop pretending’ whispered my sis guessing what’s going inside my head. Then it was her turn to find stuff she is interested. Boxes filled with tiny “Kinder Surprise” toys. And they are just amazing and mouth-watering. It was my turn to tell “Don’t you even think of taking one away”. I know toys are meant to be played with. And we are allowed to play with it when we were small. But the thing is it is easy to break them so my mom whisks them away after a week of playing with them. She has been collecting them since I was 9 years old. So you can imagine the 5 large boxes filled with I’m-meant-to-be-played-with-toys. Anyway I started feeling guilty for snooping around so I told my sis to keep things away. “When you had seen your stuff now let me see my stuff”, was her reply.

Enters my brother in the scenario. Being a 12 year boy he is hardly interested in helping us snoop around. For one minute I thought I was dead. After all this was the forbidden closet my sis and I were going through. One shout to my mom would lead us to a scolding of our life. But my bro had another thing on his mind. “Don’t worry I wont tell mom but hey Appi will you download this song for me……” I wouldn’t refuse after all its good If I didn’t mess with him now. When he left the room we kept everything away as we havent touched them or as if nothing had been removed from its place. Knowing from my experience I know in 2 weeks time my mom would guess that somebody had opened and touched every single thing in the closet.(why do parents have an uncanny way of knowing all the mischief you do at home.) Of course I will have to confess but for now I am downloading “khamaj” by Fuzon formy brother. Its one amazing song so its not a bad deal. Anyway me going to pull my sister’s ear for spying on me AGAIN FOR THE MILLIONT TIME…..you guys have a lovely, snoop-free day. ;)

PS. Maybe the title is a bit exaggerated