Boyfriend problem ?

Im so good at embarrassing myself I don’t need anybody else to do it for me ! In fact usually I think “EMBARASSMNET” and I are very good friends and we have dinner almost every other month. Anyway some days back I embarrassed myself by crying…..It started with a stupid thing. I didn’t know how to explain it to my concerned friends who all gathered around me like bees gathered around a poor flower that I wanted to cry , I needed to cry and I wanted to be left alone. My crying had robbed me my voice and all I would do was sob.
Anyway when I did finally manage stopped crying , I started all over again when we sat on the stairs of our university. This time I was crying genuinely because I realized that I needed to get more self-control. And I will never achieve my New Year resolution in hiding my feelings at the rate I was going. Out of nowhere this eccentric teacher showed up whom I admired a lot. He looked at me and smiled sympathetic “Boyfriend problem”, he asked. Which made me laugh. So not only was I crying like a lunatic, I was laughing like one. I told him “No, Im not dumb”. At the back of my mind I was thinking “No way am I ever going to cry over a boyfriend”. Then my sir asked “what’s your problem then?” I automatically said “everything”. “Hmmm so not only you have boyfriend problem but EVERYTHING is bothering you?” he said in sing song voice that one use when talking to kids. I laughed again. This conversation was getting hilarious by the minute. I would just imagine crying over a guy. My life is already complicated enough and adding a boyfriend would make it suicidal. Plus I don’t believe in keeping boyfriends at this age as it will be stupid. Also why do everybody always assume that when a girl is crying she is crying over a guy.That’s such a preconceived notion by everybody and I wonder when we will ever get rid of this old automatic thought. I was about to explain it to the sir how I don’t believe in keeping boyfriends and how it wasn’t in our culture and at my age you are growing up so why complicate it more by adding more complications to it and why did he think I had a boyfriend trouble and then I realized who im having a conversation with. I also remembered that my other New Year resolution was not to blurt out my whole life history to anybody who Im talking with. I sighed then.

I then say “I don’t have a boyfriend. And sir Im not a kid. Im 19 year old. Im crying because im at my limit’s end”. At this the sir smiled wisely. “Well I have a 19 year old son and I know life can get tough. But don’t waste your precious tears. Nothing is worth that”, He said sadly. I thought “Are all dads the same. My dad says the same thing. And I will never get it why tears are precious. Wasting them is a good indulgence for me”. I nodded my head. No use saying something that I know he wont get it. My friend who was sitting next to me asked sir to make me promise that I wont cry again. I started at disbelief. “well are you ok now ? “, he asked. Again I nodded my head. He said said , ”good bye”. I smiled and I hope I said thank you, I know I was thinking it…..

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I have been wanting to post so badly in my blog.....but something always stops me or holds me back.....I miss writing !!!! At one point writing all the words in my head seemed like craziness and now i know it wasnt craziness it was passion....I miss the passion....Passion makes life beautiful , more colourful and definetly more worthwhile....

I can go on about so many things....For today i will just tell you about a new hobby...Well almost every teen I know uses facebook...dont know about the adults but facebook is the most "in" thing these days....Anyway for me its a good time pass but one of the application thats my favourite is the bumper sticker which you can stick in your profile...Some of the quotes in those bumper sticker is totally related to my life so am im just copying them here as well....As I grow old i realize that even though we are individuals we do go through the same experiences...What makes us different is how we react to them so Im sure these quotes will remind you of somebody or trigger something in your mind....Do let me know what it does......So enjoy !! Miss you all !!

"I rather be hated for who Im than loved for who Im not" Kurt Cobain

'Many people have told me that I have changed but the truth is...I think I have just found myself'

'All I want for ONE guy to prove to me that they are

not like the rest'

' The truth is everyone is going to hurt you.'

You just have to decide who is worth the pain...'

'As we grow old we dont lose our friends

we just learn who our real ones are...'

'I dont miss you, I just miss the person you were...'

'Let go of whats kill you

hold on to whats keeps you breathing...'